Policing Einstein

I was sitting on one of the stools at the bar finishing a greasy hamburger at the Pinecrest. Two couples chatted and laughed loudly in a nearby booth. They were in their early 30s and casually well-dressed. The men wore tan sport jackets: the woman, sweaters and skirts.

One of the men emphatically proclaimed, "Einstein didn't change one principle of Newton's!"

"You don't know shit about Einstein!" a stentorian voice boomed out. It belonged to an aging man halfway down the bar from me. He had wild white hair and a striking face that looked like Michelangelo's depiction of God.

"What?" the young speaker snapped as he turned toward the voice.

"You don't know shit about Newton either," the man added. His wore a dark suit that looked like it had been slept in and scuffed shoes with worn out heels.

The two young men bolted up. One of the them pulled out a badge and said, "we're cops!"

"So what?"

"You can't talk that way in here!"

"And you can't talk shit about Einstein!"

"Shut it down!" one cop threatened.

"Take it back, you moron, and I'll shut it down."

The two cops proceeded to grab the man, wrestle him to the floor and drag him out of the restaurant. The two woman looked on with mild perplexity.

I finished my burger and walked outside. The cops had God handcuffed around a pole. One of them milled about looking for a squad car while the other one knelt down checking the fit of the cuffs.

As I walked passed them, I quietly said, "You know, you really don't know much about Einstein."

The kneeling cop thrust a set of cuffs out toward me saying, "You want some too!"