The War Against Cabbies

***
Jack was an airline pilot in the USSR flying out of Moscow. When the Soviet Union collapsed in 1991 so did the economy and Jack lost his job. But he had saved enough as a pilot to finally realize his dream of moving with his wife and son to America. 

He changed his name to Jack from Yuri in honor of  Jack Nicholson and his favorite movie, One Flew Over the CuckCoo's Nest.

Of course all the jobs for airline pilots in the USA were filled and he worked cleaning up in New York restaurants for awhile before moving to San Francisco to drive an old friend's taxicab. It was tough, thankless work but it paid the bills and gave him a chance to practice English while he looked around for a position with the airlines.

After a few years, he realized that cab driving would be his career from then on. It was a huge disappointment but he came to look at it as if he was flying an airplane only on the ground. He prided himself on his knowledge of the city and his ability to navigate every route in the best possible way.

The girl, the woman, was about 23, stylishly dressed, a little homely and rude. When she stepped into the cab she ignored his greeting, looked through him and snapped out a command,

"Union and Laguna - Kearny to Pine to Franklin to Union to Laguna!"

Jack hesitated for a moment than said,

"I don't think it such a good idea."

"What you think doesn't matter - this isn't a subject for debate! "

"But lot of construction on Pine right now."

"That's California - there's construction on California."

"Yesterday on California - today Pine."

"Am I paying for this or are you? Take Pine!"

"But its total gridlock, it stupid -"

"I'm stupid!? If you're so smart why don't you get yourself a fucking job!"

"But -"

"No 'but' Boris - you have to do what I say!"

"Suit yourself," Jack shrugged

"Who should I suit, Boris? You?" she said taking out her Smartphone playing with it.

Jack shrugged again. He took a right on Kearny, drove three blocks making two lane changes in the process and took a left on Pine. He'd been wrong. The gridlock wasn't total. It didn't start for fifty yards but it went on for a least four blocks up the hill. Jack tried to get over to the right lane so he could escape down an alley but the light changed and traffic cut him off before the could make the maneuver.

The cab moved four or five car lengths during the next three lights while the girl concentrated on texting.

"Can't you driver faster?" she snapped without looking up from phone.

A quick, chuckle escaped Jack's lips.

She looked up and stared wildly about at the traffic.

"You did this deliberately!" she shouted. "You think this is funny?!!!"

"No - ridiculous ... you want Pine. This is Pine."

"Well - Boris, I'm not paying for this!"

"Yes - you chose the route, you must pay - and my name's not 'Boris,'" he said as he pulled out a copy of the taxi regulations.

"Here," he said turning toward her to show her the specific rule, "look at the this."

"No Yuri - you look at this," she said as she spit a big gob into his face.

He reflexively backed-handed her. She fell against the seat and bounced up toward him.

"Faggot!" She screamed and spit at him again.

This time he slapped her hard enough to shut her up.

The City decided to suspend his taxi license for six months to a year because he had never had a complaint before. But this wasn't enough for the girl. She took him to court.

"I'm truly sorry," Jack told the judge. "I don't mean to hurt girl ... I never do violence before ... never hit wife or son growing up ... never hit anyone. It's just ... in my country spit on a person is the greatest insulted ... I caught by surprise ... never hit before ... I never hit again ... I just so insulted ... please ..."

The judge took away his license permanently.

The woman, the girl, an aspiring actress, triumphantly told the press, "It's a victory for all women in the war against cabbies."