A Driving Lesson

The car hit us from behind just as we were about to turn.  It was only a tap but I wanted to make sure that there had been no damage.

I was just putting my clipboard aside when I noticed the driver of the other car standing next to my window glaring at me.

I gave him a big, friendly smile, stepped out on the passenger side and walked with him to the back of the car. He was tall and thin, in his mid-twenties and wore an expensive leather jacket.

We glanced at the bumpers and everything looked okay.

     "You must have rolled back," he said.

A ridiculous statement if I ever head one. The street was level. Besides, as I told him,

    "We were already moving forward."

He started hollering at me. I was so stunned that I can't remember what he said. I only knew that there was a point I wanted to make so I ignored his outburst and began speaking.

     "You shouldn't -" I started to say but he interrupted me before I could finish.

     "Get outta my face!" He screamed, moving threateningly toward me.

     "There's no need to be rude. I was just trying to say - "

     "Get outta my face!" He screamed again.

Who was he to tell me what to do?

    "I'll get in your face if I feel like it," I replied taking a step forward.

     "Back off!" He, as usual, screamed, "Or I'll kick your ugly face in."

     "That's not a nice way to talk," I said with a smile. "All I've been trying to say is -"

     "My God!" He screamed in exasperation, "There isn't even any damage!"

     "True," I agreed, "But irrelevant to my point. You shouldn't -"

      "I'm gonna ruin your whole day!" He threatened.

I ignored him and tried once again to speak.

    "You shouldn't -"

     "I'm gonna fuck you up for life!"

     "You shouldn't - "

     "Suit yourself," he cried as he shoved me in the chest.

Now you'd think a guy with his attitude would've learned how to fight or at least have taken a few boxing lessons or one of those self-defense courses. If he had, it didn't show. He had big hands but a weak grip. I easily took his fists off me and pushed him away.

     "Okay - you asked for it," she snapped.

Then he let out a Kung Fu yelp and leaped toward me swinging a wide, wild left hook. It was one of the most ridiculous and pathetic moves I've ever seen. I almost broke out laughing. I was so amused that I took mercy on the fool, held back my punch and made my move. I bull-rushed him, threw him down on the pavement, pinned his arms with my knees and sat on his chest.

     "I'm sorry, " he said, "I'm really sorry."

     "You shouldn't -"

     "I didn't mean it," he cried out.

     "You shouldn't -"

     "I won't do it again! I won't _"

I was just about to slap him when he sensed my intend and shut up.

     "You shouldn't," I calmly and quietly told him, "tailgate."

Mary Beth was still sitting in the driver's seat when I got back to the car. In the excitement of the argument, I'd forgotten about her. As I climbed into the passenger seat, I tried not to notice the womanly body thrusting out of her school uniform. 

She clutched the steering wheel so tightly that her knuckles turned white. She stared at me with wide, dilating, blue eyes.

     "We can only hope he'll learn from this experience," I said. "Now let's finish that right turn - but cut it a little sharper this time. You shouldn't ... you wouldn't want to end up on the wrong side of the street.